Well, as God begins to break down walls, I feel I need to be more transparent in this blog. This one will be the most difficult one to write but pray someone else benefits from what God is revealing to me. The last couple weeks, haven't been easy but especially the last few days. Wounds and insecurities make one vulnerable and for someone that doesn't like to be vulnerable, I meet it with resistance. So, when God sends someone into your life to help open you up to what God wants from you it can be difficult. The reality is, if you can't be real with yourself, who can you be real with?
So often, the love that we know is conditional. American culture teaches us that we have to seek approval from others, that we must do something to be loved and constantly fight for it, and if we mess up along the way, we are a failure. God's love is unconditional. When I fail, he still loves me. The only prayer that God answers the way we want it answered every time, is when we pray for Grace and Forgiveness. He may not always heal the way we want Him to, He may not always lead us down the path we want Him to, and He may not always provide everything we think we need, but He ALWAYS offers grace and forgiveness. So, when I hold on to failures and sin in my life, I try to place restrictions on God. I am in essence saying the cross wasn't big enough for me. You see, I know the love and forgiveness of the Father, but I often want to hold on to and beat myself up over things I know God has the power to forgive. The cross is big enough but the apologetic in me wants to "prove myself worthy" of all He has done for me. IT ISN'T POSSIBLE, because apart from God's forgiveness I'm not worthy.
Not only for myself do I try to place restrictions, but when I say he will never change, she could never do that, she'll never understand, he/she can't or won't... I mar God's creation. I again say God and Jesus' cross aren't big enough.
I am forever blessed that God sent someone who was real with me. Someone that was willing to not sit silently when God asked them to be bold and speak openly and honestly to me. So often, we want to sugar coat things when what people really need is for someone to be real with them. To be "respectfully real" with them.
-Instruction does much, but encouragement everything.
-To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength. Criss Jami
-You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do. Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm thankful that I've known forgiveness and the love of my Heavenly Father for 20 years but we all need a good wake-up call. I'm thankful that I made a decision for myself, not others, to walk with the Lord at the young age of 11. There have been and continue to be bumps along the way, but I recognized my need of salvation
God continually calls us to closeness with Him. He offers rest for each of us. He offers refreshment for our minds, body, and soul. Waiting on the Lord keeps us connected to Him. It makes us aware of what He has to offer us. We must trust Him in every moment and stage in our life.